


I Need You To Love Me

by itsjustmehere3



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Cookies, Happy Ending, Hospitals, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 18:38:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1754305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsjustmehere3/pseuds/itsjustmehere3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall is in love with Liam. What happens next? Just reaad it please. I love you people. <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need You To Love Me

    ⅈ ɳɛɛժ ყöʉ Ƭȭ ℒṏ۷ɛ ოɛ.           
          (Niam)(Larry)   
             Finished  
"Liam!" I called from his bedroom. "I'm coming, hold on!" He shouted playfully. He came into the room in just his boxers and I had to try to not let it show how much this turned me on. I was so in love with him. He cuddled in next to me and I rapped my arms around him. I heard a loud thunder and cringed into Liam. "Li-Liam.." I whispered. "It's okay, babe." He whispered to me. I cuddled into him even more and he kissed the top of my head. I saw lightning and the thunder soon followed. I curled into Liam, terrified. He wiped away my tears and stared into my eyes. "I'm going to make you feel better, alright Ni?" He whispered. I just nodded my head in amazement as Liam placed his lips over mine. I kissed him back slowly, savoring our first kiss. I had always dreamed of this, kissing Liam. "Liam." I said as he broke the kiss. "Yeah?" He asked. "I love you." I whispered. "I love you too, Ni. So much." He kissed me again. 

I woke up from my dream with a smile on my face. It was perfect, now only if that could happen in real life. I chuckled to myself, yeah fucking right. Liam would never want me. Never ever. I sighed and got out of bed. I walked to the kitchen to eat something, cause I'm fat. I pulled out a box of cereal and poured myself some. I sat down at the table and slowly ate my breakfast. I wonder what Liam is doing today? I texted him to see. Maybe he'd want to hang out. We were best friends after all. Well at least he was my best friend. I don't think I was his. He has so many friends. Why would he choose me? He texted back and said that he wasn't doing anything today, and that he'd love to hang out. I allowed myself a small smile and ran my fingers through my blonde hair. I needed to re-dye it. The roots were getting brown. Liam showed up a few minutes later. "Niall!" He yelled throwing his arms around me. This made me smile. I loved him. "Hey Liam." I said hugging him back. "I missed you so much, Nialler." He whispered, still not letting go. "Missed you too." I rolled my eyes and pushed him away. "I'm serious." He said. "Me too." I smiled and turned around. I missed him, it was true. But I didn't believe for one second that he missed me. "What should we do today?" He asked. "Um I don't know.. I'm supposed to be getting a phone call from my mum so I can't go out." I said. "That's okay, we can stay in." He smiled widely. "Okay." I smiled at him. "I wanna make something." He said. "Like what?" Please say love. "Like cookies." Okay, not love. "That sounds fun!" It does, actually. He gave me the biggest smile and ran to the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and followed after him. He was so enthusiastic about it. He makes them all the time so I don't know why. He got out all the ingredients, stacking them on the island. He got out the mixer, plugging it into the wall. He went about preparing the dough. He'd make me giggle every now and then by calling out the ingredients like a surgeon. "Sugar." I handed him the sugar. "Milk." I giggled and handed him the milk. I watched him in awe of the way he worked. He just got in this zone. Like, he ignored everything around him and just focused on the cookies. I sat on one of the bar stools next to the island, chin resting in my hands, just watching Liam. I loved the way his hands worked, so smooth and sure. And his intense gaze, it made my heart beat that much faster. "How about some music, mate? It's awful quiet in here." I heard Liam say. "What? Oh umm okay." I stuttered. "What do you want to listen to?" I asked. "How about Ed Sheeran? Or the Script?!" He said excitedly. "Now you're talking my language." I said laughing. I placed my iPod in it's base and scrolled through everything till I found Ed's music. "Any song in particular?" I asked. "Not really, just hit shuffle." He said. I nodded and hit shuffle. The first song that came on was The A Team. "I love this song!" Liam yelled. "I can see that." I giggled and sat down to watch him again. He sung along to the music, and just like every time he sang, he gave me goosebumps. Even though I've heard him so many times, it still makes me breathless. "I'm done!" I looked up as Liam stuck the dough in the fridge to chill. "Finally!" I danced over to the fridge and opened it to steal some cookie dough. "Out of it!" Liam crowed. I picked some more up with my fingers and stuck it in my mouth. "Make me!" I said back. "You little trouble maker." He stuck his tongue out at me. "What are you in 2nd grade?" I taunted. "Yeah, and so are you." He said tickling me. "True story, bro! Now go make me a sandwich!" I yelled at him. He laughed and tackled me onto the couch for a wrestling tournament. He ended up winning, or course. He pulled out his phone as he got a phone call. "Hello?"  
"Oh umm hi."  
"No, I umm not today."   
"Because I'm busy."   
"I'm at Niall's house."  
He sighed and hung up the phone. "Was that Danielle?" I asked. "Yeah. She wants to talk to me." He said. "Oh, well don't let me stop you. If she wants to... 'talk' then go talk. She probably just wants to get back together." I said. "B-but we were h-having fun, weren't we..?" He asked, eyes filled with sadness. "Yeah. But I don't want you to feel like you need to stay just because I'm bored." I said truthfully. "I don't feel like that. I really do want to stay, I still have dough in the fridge remember?" He said with a grin. "Oooh that reminds me.." I hopped off of the couch and raced into the kitchen to get some dough. "Niaaaaall!" Liam howled after me. I pulled the bowl out of the fridge and sat down on top of the island to eat it. "You know there's not gonna be any left if you keep eating it." I heard Liam say. I looked up and he was standing in the doorway looking impossibly cute. "I don't care." I said putting some more in my mouth. "Then at least let me have some!" He said sitting next to me. "Here." I pushed the bowl towards him. He stuck his fingers in and scooped up a bunch. "This 'e real goo'." He said with his mouth full. "Yupp." I said with a giggle. He looked fucking adorable. I started laughing all the sudden. Because we were sitting on the island counter top, eating cookie dough, and fighting like three year olds. "What's so funny?" Liam asked. "It's just... We're sitting on the counter top and eating cookie dough. like what are we? Two year olds?" We started cracking up. "This is why we're best friends." He said hugging me. "We're.. Oh okay..." I said surprised. His best friend? Really?! "We are aren't we?" He asked. "Yeah, you are. I just.. I never thought I was your best friend." I stumbled out. "Of course you're my best friend! Who else would it be?!" He said. "I dunno, I just figured it was one of the other boys.." I whispered. "Well think again. Because you, and you alone, are my best friend. And I love you." He rapped his arms around me. I was speechless. I was his best friend? He loved me? "I love you too.." I whispered. "I know." He laughed and got more cookie  dough. "I changed my mind, Zayn's my best friend." I stuck my tongue out at him. "Yeah, sure. You'll come running back to me soon enough." He said. "Liam forgive me! I don't know what I was thinking, you're my one and only best friend. Take me back?!" He yelled pretending to be me. "You didn't get my accent right." I said. He looked at me and started cracking up. "Well sorry." He laughed. 

 

                   Liam  
I sat there with Niall, just talking, laughing, hanging out. It was so much fun. He was tearing my heart out sitting there looking so adorable. He was sitting cross legged on the counter top, licking cookie dough off of his fingers, while spreading it ALL over his face. He just looked cute! I wish he wasn't straight... Stop Liam! You're not supposed to think like that! I shook my head to clear my thoughts and focused on what Niall was saying. "And then I had to  rewrite the whole report." He finished. "What report?" I asked dumbly. "Weren't you listening?" He asked. "Sorry, I was thinking." I blushed. "About what?" He questioned. You. "Nothing really." I lied. "It was Danielle wasn't it?" He asked. "You miss her, yeah?" He said, looking away from me. "Not really.. I probably should, right? I mean we dated for a long time. So I should be sad, shouldn't I? But I'm just.. Not." I said. "Well maybe you just fell out of love." Did I imagine it or did he flinch and sound slightly bitter when he said the word love?! "I.. I umm I'm not sure if I actually loved her. I mean, sure she was cool. But she was always more of a sister to me." I said. "Yeah, that makes sense." He patted my back. "The thing I miss though, it's the being in the relationship part. Having someone to hold, to talk to.. Just being able to call someone yours. I miss feeling important." I admitted. "Liam, you are important." Niall said. I shook my head and gave a sad smile. "I wish." I said. He rapped an arm around me. "I could umm I could play the part.. If you want..?" Niall stuttered out. "What part?" I asked. "The relationship part. You're my best mate and I don't want you to feel unwanted. Because you aren't." He said. "Really..?" I couldn't believe it! "Yeah, as I said, you're my best mate. I'd do anything for you." He smiled at me. "Thanks." I flung myself at him and just laid in his arms. "Welcome." He said. We sat in silence for awhile. "Liam..?" Niall asked after a little while. "Yeah?" I said. "Am I- am I annoying?" His voice was so small, so broken. "N-Niall.. Why would you think that?" I asked, my heart breaking at his voice. "I dunno. I just.. I think I am." Where was this coming from? "Niall.. You have never annoyed me. You're the most amazing person I know. Trust me, you're not annoying." I whispered in his ear, pulling him closer. He yawned widely. "I think you're tired. How much sleep did you get last night?" I said. "I dunno. Not a whole lot." He whispered. "Let's get you to bed." He was already falling asleep. "M' Not tired." He mumbled into my shoulder as I picked him up. "I think you are." I said, scooping him into my arms. I carried him into his room and laid him on his bed. I was gonna write him a note and leave. But he wouldn't let go of my jacket and I didn't really want to leave. So I slipped my shoes off. I saw a pair of sweatpants and scooted my foot out to grab them, Niall was still holding on to my jacket rather tightly and I didn't want to wake him. I awkwardly slipped my own jeans off and put the sweats on. I curled into Niall's bed with him. My breath hitched in my throat as I looked down at his face. He looked so peaceful. He loosened his grip from my jacket and I slipped it off. He rapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled his face into my neck. My breath caught in my throat at the skin-to-skin contact. He's so beautiful. I love him. I really do. I intertwined my fingers through his and fell asleep. 

 

              Niall  
I woke up in my bed, Liam's sleeping body next to me. I smiled when I found his arms around me, protective and guarding. He was wearing my sweatpants which was like adorable, especially cause he had our hands intertwined. I was happy to do this whole couple thing... But how long could I do this without letting it show that I actually wanted to be in a relationship with him? A few weeks? A few months? Not that long really. And the fact that he didn't feel the same.. It killed. I sighed and removed Liam's arms from around me so I could get up. I walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge. I grabbed some pizza, leftover from last night. I sat down on the couch in the livingroom. Why did I suggest this? I'd only end up getting hurt. And Liam would walk away unharmed, if not a little sad that we aren't best friends anymore. I hope he cares that much.. Because I care about him so much. To much for words. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through twitter.    
'Niall Horan is so ugly. Go kill yourself!'  
'Go kill yourself, no one loves you.'  
'Remind me again why he's in the band? He's fucking ugly. And he can't sing.'  
'A note to the ugly blonde, NO ONE LOVES YOU. Just go kill yourself, no one would miss you or even care. Especially not the boys.'  
'You are so worthless, you have no idea. No. One. Wants. You. Why can't you see..? You are ugly and worthless and a failure. You can't sing worth shit and you are a gay faggot.'   
My eyes blurred over with tears as I read the posts. They were right. Every single one of them. I should die. I am ugly. And I can't sing. I curled into a ball and tried to control the sobs that were jerking out of my mouth. Why can't I just die..? "Niall..?" I didn't move when I heard Liam's voice, maybe he'd think I'm asleep. "Niall... I was on your computer. I needed to check my emails.." Shit. Shit. Shit. Fucking hell. I felt the couch dip where he placed himself. "I know you're awake." He whispered, pulling me onto his lap. "M' not.." I mumbled. "Ni.. Why are you crying?!" He said looking at my face. "M' not." I said again. "Yes you are." He looked down at my fingers where my phone was clenched. He pried it out of my fingers and started reading the comments. "Niall.." He started looking up at me with tears in his eyes. "N-No Liam.. Please." I push him away, not wanting to hear it. He'd tell me how right they are.. I know no one loves me.. But I don't want to hear it from the guy I'm in love with. "Nialler, come back." Liam got off the couch to follow me. What does he want? Why does he do this? "Liam, I'm fine, okay?" I smiled brightly just to show him, because I know my smiles always reach my eyes. It'll fool him. He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Niall... Why do you look at the hate..?" He asked. "Liam, it's fine. It doesn't matter." I said patting his back. My phone buzzed as I got a notification. I looked down to read it.  
'Niall, we all know you're gay. It's obvious that you're in "love" with Liam. Well guess what? Liam is fucking straight. He's not a disgusting faggot like you. He will never love you. How does that feel? I hope it makes you want to die. Go kill yourself.'  
I read it as more tears fell. They were right of course, Liam was straight. Liam walked over and tipped my chin up. He slid my phone out of my hands, looking into my eyes the whole time. He drug his gaze from mine to look down at the screen. He looked at me after he finished reading it, his gaze took my breath away. "I-I'm not gay." I lied, not knowing what else to say. What could I say? "I know, Ni. And I do love you." He rapped his arms around me. I need him to love me.. I felt him press his lips against my forehead. I shivered as they touched my skin. My heart started beating faster and I could hardly breathe. It was scary how he could make me feel like this. I rapped my arms around his neck and pressed my face into his neck. I felt him shiver slightly. He was probably cold, poor thing. He rapped his arms around me tighter and pulled me close. I loved these moments. Granted they normally didn't happen in a hallway, but I'll take it. My phone started ringing, ruining the moment. I pushed away from Liam so I could answer it. I checked the caller I.D, it was my mum. "Hey mum!" I said.  
"Hello, Niall."  
"How are ya?"  
"I'm doing good. How's my precious son?"   
"I'm good, mum. I'm just hanging out with Liam right now."  
"Oooh Liam, eh? Got the fancies for him?"   
"Mum! Please don't talk about it."  
"I'm sorry, I know being gay is supposed to be a secret, I'm sorry. But any who do you like Liam?"   
"Mum.. Can you not right now? I'm just.. Please just don't."  
"What's going on lad?  
"Nothing mum it's nothing, but I don't want to talk about it right now."  
"Okay, well dinners almost ready. I'd best be off the Telly. I love you, baby."  
"I love you too, mum." I hung up the phone and sighed. "Mums can be a hassle." I heard Liam say behind me. Oh shit, he's been standing there the whole time, hasn't he? "Yeah." I mumbled. He chuckled and pulled me close again. He just stood there staring into my eyes. His were so gorgeous... Deep brown, kind, caring. "Um Li?" I said nervously. "Sorry." He blushed. "S'okay." I buried my head in his shoulder. He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. A smile slowly spread across my face. I loved it when he did that. I wish he would lean down farther, down to my lips. I wonder what his lips would feel like..? Warm and soft? Ruff and passionate? I wanted to feel them on mine so fucking bad. I needed to stop this obsession. It's scaring me, and.. Fucking hell, if Liam knew...He'd think I was disgusting. He wouldn't want to be my friend anymore. I just.. I can't lose him. He can't know. Ever. I pushed him away a bit and he shot me a confused glance. I just gave him a small smile and pulled out of his arms. "Nialler, what's wrong?" He asked. "It's nothing." I mumbled. My phone vibrated again, notifying me that someone posted something about me. I looked down to read it.  
'Niall is so fucking ugly. He should just go die. Fucking go kill yourself. No one loves you. NO ONE. Stop thinking you're so important. Because you're not. Stop thinking you're so wanted, NO ONE WANTS YOU. stop thinking that you're so special. You're not. Go kill yourself. Do everyone a huge favor, and kill yourself.'  
I can't let Liam see this one. I put my phone back in my pocket and smiled. "I umm I need to umm take a shower.." I said. "Aren't we all supposed to go out to dinner tonight?" He asked. Well shit. I had completely forgot about it. "Yeah." I said. "Kay, is it okay if I just stay here? I've already showered today and I don't want to drive all the way home." Lovely Liam, I'm trying to get you out of my house and you jut won't leave. Fuck you. "Yeah I don't care." I mumbled trudging off to the bathroom. "Thanks." He said. I shrugged and walked to the bathroom. I stripped my clothes off and hopped into the shower. I turned the water on hot till the bathroom was filled up with steam. I needed to clear my head. And I needed to feel pain. Real physical pain. I reached under my shampoo bottle and pulled a razor out. I held it in the palm of my hand, trying to work up the courage to actually cut myself. It was always like this. I didn't want to.. But I needed to. I put the razor up to my wrist and pulled it across, watching as the blood started flowing out of the cut. It was.. I don't know, to me it was beautiful. And somehow I knew that was wrong. I let the tears fall as I slid the razor across my wrist, watching as my blood stained the water. I loved the colors it made, dark red in some places and a light red-ish pink color in other places. "Nialler hurry up! We've got twenty minutes!" I heard Liam yell. I quickly finished my shower and hopped out. But now I had two problems; My wrist was still dripping blood and I had left my clothes in my room. "Fuck." I mumbled under my breath. I did the only thing I could think of. I cleaned the cuts and put band-aids over them. After that I rapped a towel around myself and snuck out of the bathroom to my room. Once I made it without being spotted by Liam I leaned against the door and sighed. Why was everything so complicated? Why did I have to have feelings for him? Why can't I be a normal person? I trudged over to my dresser and pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and an Ed Sheeran sweatshirt. I pulled them onto my body and went to look in the mirror. It didn't shatter at the sight of me so I couldn't look that bad. I quickly fixed my hair up into his usual ugly blonde quiff. "You look extra ugly if I do says myself." I mumbled to the creature in the mirror. I let out a breath and walked out the door. Liam was sitting on the couch waiting for me, looking like a complete angel. "Let's go." I mumbled, walking toward the door. "Oh I umm Dani called and I'm going out with her tonight. Something about apologies." Liam said. "Oh okay." Damn it, she's doing it again. "You'll be good right?" He asked. "I don't want to leave you... But Dani and I and yeah..." He trailed off. "It's fine, mate." I gave him a smile. "I'm used to being alone." I said under my breath as we walked out of the house. "What was that, mate?" He asked me. I didn't say anything, just gave a small sad smile and a shake of my head. I climbed into my car and pulled out of the driveway, cursing myself. He probably heard everything. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I tried concentrating on driving but I almost crashed like ten times. Once I finally got to the restaurant no one was there yet. I was ten minutes late even. They'd stood me up. All of them, planning it together. That made my heart sink. If only they knew how horrible this made me feel. Liam was off with Danielle somewhere and the other boys? Who knew what the hell they were up to. I walked back to the car and slid into the seat. Why would they do this to me? Did they think it was funny? I drove off as tears left my eyes. They didn't care about me. No one did. I was so busy ranting to myself I didn't notice the red car until it was on me. After that everything went black. 

 

            Liam  
"What do you mean he was in an accident?!" I screamed into the phone. "A car hit him out of no where. Liam it's so bad. This is my fault. I can't believe I wanted to prank him like that." Louis' voice was nervous, verging on hysterical. "How is he?! I need to see him. Louis you fucked up this time! I told you no to! His feelings get hurt so easily." I screamed through the phone. "I know.. I just.." Louis trailed off. I hung up the phone angrily. "What's going on?" Danielle asked, her voice full of worry. "Niall was in a car accident. Louis said it was bad. I need to go see him." I grabbed my jacket and got up. I ran outside and climbed into my car. I put the pedal to the metal. Once I go to the hospital I ran into the building. I saw the boys in the waiting room all with pained faces. "Where is he?!" I yelled. "He's in room 349." Zayn said. "Can I see him?" I asked. "Yeah." That was all I needed to hear before I was running off down the hallway. I stopped outside of his room and gulped in oxygen. "Niall?" I pushed the door open and came face to face with my worst nightmare. He was all sort of bruised up. his leg was in a cast held off of the bed, he had cuts all over his body, and bruises. So many bruises. I walked over to him and slowly sat down in the chair next to him. "Niall?" I picked up his hand in my own but he didn't even flinch. He kept his eyes on the ceiling. "Niall, please talk to me." I begged him. He let his gaze drift over toward me but he quickly pulled it back. "Ni.." I whimpered, burying my face in his shoulder. "Talk to me." But he didn't. He just sat there staring at the ceiling. I remember the last thing I'd heard him say. "I'm used to being alone." I didn't know he got lonely. It didn't show, he always looked happy. But I should have noticed how unhappy he was. I'm his best friend. I should have noticed. "Niall, I just want to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I haven't been here for you like I should be. I'm sorry that I couldn't stop Louis from going through with this prank. I'm sorry for being a rubbish best friend. I'm just.. So sorry. For everything." I started crying, my body shaking with sobs. I felt a hand on top of mine and looked up to see Niall. He slowly pulled his hand up to my face and wiped away a tear. I smiled at his touch. "How are you feeling?" I asked. "Rubbish." He replied painfully. "I'm sorry mate, this I all my fault." I tried to keep the tears down but they fell anyway. "No." Niall said rather loudly. "It's alright mate, I know it is." I said. "No, it's my bloody own fault. If I hadn't been stupid and crying while driving then none of this would have happened and you all would still be doing what you were doing before." He said, letting a few of his own tears fall down. I promptly wiped them away with my thumb. "Niall.. It's our bloody fault. Stop saying it's yours. It was Lou's idea, so the others went along with it. None of this in any way shape or form was your fault." I said grabbing his hand. "Yeah, but I'm the stupid overly sensitive one who hates it when his friends leave him on purpose, or in this case just never show up. I'm the one that was crying as I drove away." Niall screamed at me. "Ni, who made you cry?" I asked. He just shut his mouth, point proven. I put my hand on his face and ran my thumb back and forth across his cheek. "Hey.." We turned to see the boys in the doorway. "Hi." Niall croaked out. "How are you feeling?" Harry asked sitting by his side. "Fine." He looked into Harry's eyes. A tear slipped down Harrys face and I knew how much he blamed himself. "It's alright, mate." Niall wiped Harrys tears away. A pang of jealousy shot through me, I love this boy to much. All the rest of the boys shuffled into the room while I slowly and quietly edged my way out of the it. This was all my fault. I'm daddy direction. I'm supposed to keep these things from happening. My eyes stung as tears started pouring out of them. I went back to the waiting room and sank into one of the seats. I buried my head in my hands. I know Niall blames this on me, I don't know why he won't admit it. It's my fault. I almost killed him. A sob broke out of my throat as that thought crossed my mind.  

 

            Niall  
I looked around the room at Louis, Harry, and Zayn. They all looked awkward and tense. I felt so selfish. They all had girlfriends to be with. But I was stealing all their time. "You guys can leave.. I know you don't want to stay." I said. "But.. Someone needs to stay with you." Harry said. "I'll be fine. You guys go get some sleep." I told them. "If you say so." They all got up to leave. "You sure you'll be okay?" Zayn asked. "I'll be fine." I said again. They all walked out of the room looking a bit relieved. I sighed and settled back onto the uncomfortable hospital bed. I wonder where Liam went? He left when the boys came in. Did he really feel bad? It really wasn't his fault. It was my fault, I'm the stupid, overly sensitive one. I need Liam right now. I want to call him so bad, but I don't want to annoy him. I pulled my phone out and scrolled through twitter. It was the same hate as always. But something about it at the moment made it worse. I sank down in the bed and let the tears fall. I just wanted to be loved. But who would love me? I'm ugly, insecure, gay, a rubbish singer, fat, ugly. I don't even deserve to live. I was sobbing now. My fingers twined through my hair, mouth open in a silent scream. "Nialler?" Oh god, I thought everyone had left. "Ni, what's wrong?" It was Liam. "Nothing. I'm fine." I mumbled. "Nialler, we already tried that remember?" Yeah I remembered. He had held me so close. "I'm fine Liam." I said again. "Were you looking at the hate again?" He asked bluntly. "It's fine Liam." I said. "Niall, it will never be fine. What those people say is wrong." He looked mad. "Okay." I knew he would hate that answer. He didn't say anything, just curled up in the bed next to me and rapped his arms around my waist. "Nialler.." He picked up my arm and turned it over. "All these cuts... They're not only from the accident are they..?" My heart stopped. It literally stopped. How did he know?! "Li.." I started. "Niall, you're not... Cutting.. Are you?" He cut me off. "N-no." I stumbled out. "Niall," He cupped my cheeks in his hands. "Tell me the truth." I had to avert my eyes or I'd start crying. "Liam.. I c-can't.. I.." I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. I started sobbing, heavy, jerking sobs on Liam's shoulder. "I can't do it anymore, Li." I whimpered out. "That's the thing Ni, you don't have to. You have us. We're here to help you get through this. Talk to me, Nialler." I don't know what it was about this that made me break. Maybe the fact that I don't deserve him, or any of them. Maybe it's that I didn't even want to try anymore. I just sobbed harder. Why was he being so nice? All I ever do is ruin their shows, their concerts, their interviews. Everything. "I'm sorry, Liam." I mumbled. "There's nothing to be sorry about mate." If only he knew. I just shook my head and kept on crying. "Niall shh." He stroked my hair. "You're breaking my heart crying like that." He mumbled into my hair that he had his face pressed against. "M' sorry." I sobbed. "Nialler, stop apologizing." He said.

 

                 
         Two weeks later  
"NIIIIIIIIALL!" I heard someone yell. I looked up to see Louis. "Hey Lou." I gave him a half hearted smile. "You get to go home today!" He said excitedly. "I do?" I shouted. "Yes!" He danced around in a circle. "Lou, why are you so excited?" I asked, giggling. "Because seriously everyone is so depressed without you! And I'm excited you get to come home, it means that you're getting better!" He yelled. "Okay, thanks." I gave him a small smile. "Let's go! I brought you some of your clothes, here! I'll help you." He rushed to the door and slammed it shut. He helped me get on a pair of shorts and I pulled on a tank top. It felt weird, wearing one. Because I hadn't in so long, because of my cutting. "You look sexy." Louis said. "Um, thanks mate." I chuckled. He helped me up and got me my crutches. "Here ya go, mate." We walked out of the room and had to get some papers and stuff but after that I was free! "So how's um Harry, if you know what I mean..?" I asked him once we were in the car. He looked at me sadly. "He's still with Taylor. I talked to him about breaking up with Eleanor, just to give him a hint. But he hasn't done anything." He looked so depressed. "I'm sorry, mate. If it makes you feel any better things aren't going that swell with Liam either. I'm like brother-zoned. Which is like ten times worse than friend-zoned." I was going to cry now, bloody hell. "It's all right mate. Don't cry. Liam does like you, I can tell by the way he looks at you. It's so bloody obvious!" He shouted gleefully. "I don't think so mate." I said sadly. We drove the rest of the way in silence. We arrived at my house ten minutes later and all the boys were there. "Niall!" Harry yelled. He threw his arms around me and almost knocked me over, which means he got scolded by Liam. Everyone gave me hugs and took me to the kitchen for some cake. "You guys I love cake!" I screeched when I saw it. "We know!" Zayn said laughing. I sat down at the table and started eating my slice. I bounced up and down in my seat happily. I've got great friends. The best friends on the planet, and I really, really don't deserve them. I sighed and went back to eating my cake. "Earth to Niall!" Liam was waving his hand in my face. "Sorry." I blushed. "What's going on in that head of yours?" Zayn asked. "Nothing, just thinking about this cake." I lied. "You would be." Louis giggled and rolled his eyes. I just stuck my tongue out at him. "You should lay down and rest, doctors orders." Liam said, helping me up and into my room. He helped me change into some pjs and laid me down on the bed. "How do you feel?" He asked me. "I feel horrible. My leg hurts really bad." I mumbled, knowing I have to be honest with Liam. He'd find out anyway. "You poor thing. I'll go get you some medicine." He put his hand on my forehead to check my temperature and then brushed some hair back. "I'll be right back." He said. He left and came back a few minutes later with some ibuprofen. "Here you go, Nialler. This should help." He handed me the small pills and a glass of water. I took the pills and gulped down the water. "Thanks." I smiled at him. "Anything for my Nialler." He gave me a half smile. His Nialler? I could totally live with that. "Yours, huh?" I said, don't know why. Just felt like I should. He blushed. "Yeah, you're all mine." He rapped an arm around me and curled up next to me. "Okay." I mumbled sleepily into his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head and pulled me closer. We were having another one of those moments, the ones I loved. I loved being his. Because he was also mine. I don't want anyone else to have him. No one but me. I love him so much.  "Liam..?" I asked slowly. "What's up, Ni?" He started rubbing circles in my arm, sending shivers through my entire body. "Y-you don't have to stay in here with me. I don't want you to feel like you have to." Fuck, I sounded like a three year old. "Ni, I don't feel like I have to. I want to. You're my Nialler and I love spending time with you." He whispered against my skin. Everything he did sent shivers through me. "I love you, Li." I said. "I love you too, Nialler. So much." Again the shivers. "Never leave me." Were the last words I heard before I fell asleep. 

"Hand it over!" The man yelled at me. "Never!" I screamed. "Hand it over or he dies." The man shoved the gun against Liam's forehead. "No! Let him go!" I screamed. "Niall help me! Don't let him kill me!" Liam yelled. "Give it to me!" The man said. "I can't." I cried out. I watched in frozen horror as the man shot Liam. Right before it though Liam looked me in the eyes and said, "This is your fault. I hate you." The look he gave me tore my heart out. The guy shot him and he slumped over dead. "LIAM!" I screamed. 

"Niall! Ni, wake up!" Someone shook me awake. I opened my eyes and saw Liam. "Liam!" I rapped my arms around him, sobbing. "Liam.. Y-you died. He killed you, you said it was my fault, you said you hated me." I sobbed out. "Shh, Ni it was just a dream. I'm right here and I love you." He smoothed my hair back from my damp forehead. "Aww look at them." I looked up and saw Louis, Zayn, and Harry. "Take a picture." I heard Zayn whisper ruffly. "I am!" Harry shouted. "You guys, shut up! We're trying to sleep!" Liam mumbled sleepily onto my cheek. "OHMYGOD! THEY'RE SLEEPING TOGETHER! LIAM WANTS US TO LEAVE SO THEY CAN SLEEP! YOU GUYS!" Harry shouted gleefully. "Oy get out!" Liam yelled. Which, of course, sent Harry into a fit of giggles. "Come on guys, they want us to leave." Louis wiggled his eyebrows and left the room. A giggling Zayn and Harry followed him. I sighed and slumped even farther into the pillow. I wish they would stop teasing us. Someday they're gonna give away that I'm totally in love with him. And he would hate me. I can't let them do that, I can't live without him. "Niall what's going on in that mind of yours? You look simply terrified." Liam looked at me, concern written in his eyes. "Nothing, I'm fine." I gave him a smile. "Niall James Horan. You are not fine, don't fucking give me that bullshit." He yelled. Okay, he must be mad. He never yells. Or cusses. "I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me. I'm just tired. I promise that is all that's wrong. Please don't be mad at me." I whimpered. "Niall, I'm not mad at you. It's okay, I'm sorry I yelled." He put his strong arms around me and everything felt better. "Go back to sleep, Nialler." He stroked all my scars, his fingers a light whisper on my skin. "Sleep and dream of happy times." He kissed my forehead repeatedly, causing the stupid shivers again. I slowly slipped into the state of dream, Liam on my mind. He never once leaves it. He's always there. But he can't know. He cannot find out. 

 

                 Liam   
Niall slept soundly on my shoulder. Every time his breath hit my neck it sent shivers though my body. It wasn't fair, he views me as his brother and I just want to ravish him every time I see him. Bloody hell, this isn't working. I can't keep pretending that I don't love him when he's the only thing I ever think about. I need to get out of here. I need to leave for awhile, clear my head. I'll come back when my feelings are gone. I slipped out of the bed and, tears streaming down my face, wrote out a note to Niall and the boys. 

Guys,   
I just need some time to think. I need to clear my head. I'll miss you all a bunch. Haz be good to Lou. Zayn be perfection. Lou be patient. Niall, be kind to yourself. Stop looking at all the hate. You're worth more than that. I don't know when I'll be back, but be good. Boys, be nice to each other. I love all of you. 

I think I dropped about fifty tear drops on the paper in the five minutes I was writing it. I hope they can read it. I put it on his table in the dining room and walked out the door. I really hope this is the right decision. I opened my car door and stood staring at Niall's house. I quickly shut the door and quietly went back into the house. I slowly opened his bedroom door and walked over to the bed. I looked at his face for a few minutes, knowing that the happy smile it was plastered with would be gone in a matter of seconds when he woke up. I bent down and laid a kiss on his lips. "I love you, Nialler." I whispered before leaving the building and getting in my car. I drove down the street to my house. I pulled into the driveway and went inside. What am I going to do? Maybe I'd go to my mums house..? Yeah. That would be okay.. Mum would help me. I got out a suitcase and started putting clothes in it. I didn't want to leave him. But I needed to if I was ever going to have a normal friendship with him. I needed to convince myself I was doing this for him otherwise I would never be able to go through with it. I wiped away tears that were rolling down my face. It wasn't fair! I drug my heavy suitcase out to the waiting car. I sighed and shoved it into the passenger side door, wiping away more tears that fell. I walked to the driver side door and slowly got into the car. I put the car in drive and sat there for a second, forcing myself to leave. I finally pulled out of the drive after about two minutes. I drove down my street, trying to clear my mind. Niall shouldn't have to deal with me being in love with him right now. It's not his fault I'm gay. I stopped somewhere along his rode were I could see his house and he was upfront running around with his phone pressed against his face. I pulled forward a little and saw that there were tears streaming down his precious face. I choked on my own as I realized that I did that to him. A minute later Zayn pulled up in his black jeep and right after him came Harry. They all got out and started shouting at him. What the actual fuck? They actually think this was his fault?! I saw Niall sink to the ground, shoulders heaving from the sobs. They kept screaming at him, Zayn even started kicking him. That was it. I jumped out of my car and ran towed Zayn. I grabbed him by his collar. "DON'T YOU EVER KICK HIM AGIAN! THIS ISN'T HIS FAULT! THIS ISN'T ANYONES FAULT. I'M JUST LEAVING FOR AWHILE." I screamed at him. I ran over to where Niall laid, crying in a ball. "Niall shh it's okay." I scooped him up in my arms. "N-no it's not. What did I do Liam? Please tell me what I did so I can fix this. I don't want you to leave, please don't leave me!" He grabbed ahold of my jacket and sobbed into it. "Nialler, you didn't do anything. I promise." I whispered into his ear. "Then why are you leaving me?!" He yelled. Me. Oh god, he's taking this straight to heart. "I-I can't.. Ni, please." What could I say? Oh well, I'm leaving because I'm in love with you. And I just want to fuck you every time I see you. So I thought it'd be best for everyone if I went away for awhile because I don't want to ruin our friendship by said fuck. He'd love that one. Not. "Liam, p-please don't leave. I-I can't live without you.." He looked up at me through his wet eyelashes and my heart did a flip. "I'm not going to be gone forever." I said softly. "B-but why are y-you leaving?" He asked. "I-I can't tell you, Nialler.." My heart twisted in pain by the look on his face when I said that. "W-why don't you trust me? Li, whatever it is I promise I won't tell anyone about it." He pleaded. "Ni, I-I can't. Please, I do trust you." I don't know how to convince him. "Niall he's doing it because he's in love with you!" Zayn screamed. My heart stopped. He didn't. "Zayn!" I screamed. I lunged at him and started kicking and screaming but someone held me back. "Let me go!" I screamed, tears sliding down my face. Now Niall would know. And our friendship would be ruined. "I hate you, Zayn!" I screamed at him. "I hate you." I whimpered sliding into a messy, teary heap in the grass. I curled into a ball and sobbed into my knees, mumbling 'I hate you' to Zayn over and over. I felt arms pick me up and I felt myself carried and being laid down on a bed. "Let him sleep it out." I heard Harry whisper. Suddenly the room seemed empty but I didn't really care. I fell asleep soon after they laid me down. I dreamed of all the memories of me and Niall. The happy times and sad times. All of them made better by him being there. 

 

                Niall  
I paced outside my bedroom door, waiting for Liam to wake up. Zayn said that Liam loved me, and then Liam flipped. He kept saying he hated him. I'm so confused. Does he love me or not? If he does this is going to be the fucking happiest day of my life. But if he doesn't... I don't know. I quietly opened the door and tiptoed through the room to stand beside the bed. He looked like an angel, so peaceful and happy. It made me smile just to look at him. I loved seeing him happy. I kneeled down and grabbed his hand lightly, pressing it against my lips. I loved him so much. I laid my head down beside him and closed my eyes. Wouldn't it be wonderful if he did love me? We could actually be together. But... What about management? What would they do or say? Would they let us be together? I willed myself not to think about it and to think about other things. Other happy things. Like that time Liam and I went to the lake... That was probably the best day ever. We swam for hours and then laid by the shore enjoying the sunset. It was beautiful, but I couldn't concentrate on anything but him. He looked stunning. The boy gave me fucking butterflies. I've seen the hate he gets sometimes. I don't understand it, all those people saying that he's ugly and fat. He's obviously none of those things. He's perfect. He has perfect hair and his eyes, gaah. His nose is the cutest thing I've ever seen. And his birthmark on his neck, I've come so close to just losing myself and nuzzling my face against it. He's kind and caring. And I love him. He started stirring from sleep and opened his eyes. They went from sleepy but happy to terrified in like point six seconds when he saw me. "Hey." I said. "Hi." He croaked out. We sat there in awkward silence for a minute. "Niall.. Listen." Liam started. "I'm sorry about what Zayn said.  I thought I could hide it longer, I didn't want you to know.. I'm sorry. I understand if you don't want to be friends anymore. I'm just.. s-sorry. I'm sorry that I'm not a girl. And I'm sorry I'm not pretty. I'm sorry I fell in love with you. I'm just so sorry." He started sobbing and curled himself into a ball. "Liam there is nothing you could do that would make me not want to be friends with you. Liam look at me." I tipped his chin up. "You're perfect. I don't care that you're not a girl, because I want you the way you are. You don't have anything to be sorry for Li, because I love you too. I love you so much." I curled up next to him and rapped my arms around him. "L-Liam, Will y-you go out with m-me?" I asked nervously. He looked at me and smiled really wide. "Yes." He placed small kisses all over my face. "I love you." I said in a whimper. "I love you too Nialler. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I was just scared.." He looked into my eyes. "It's okay Li. I was scared too." I said. We stared into each others eyes for a minute before I started leaning in. Our lips connected and I felt fireworks. "I love you so much, Nialler. I can't even begin to tell you how long I have waited for this, how long I've wanted this." Liam whispered after we broke the kiss. I realized that he did love me, after all these years of wanting this to happen it finally was. And I loved it so much. I started crying, tears streaming down my face. I leaned into Liam and sobbed on his shoulder. "Hey, hey what's wrong, Ni?" He asked, worried. "N-nothing. These are happy tears, Li. I've waited so long for this. I love you so much." I said. 

 

We walked into the living room a few hours later, we were going to tell the boys. I was nervous as hell. Liam grabbed my hand and I looked into his beautiful eyes. He smiled at me and I instantly felt better. Harry and Lou arrived together, and Zayn was the last to come in. We all sat down on the couches. "So, uh, I have some news." Liam said awkwardly. "That is um we have some news." He cleared his throat. "Liam and I are together." I said quickly, sparing Liam from having to talk. He sent me a grateful smile. We looked around at the boys, they looked excited "I told you! Pay up!" Harry screamed at Louis. "B-but! Ugh fine!" Louis slumped back on the couch and pretended to pout. Harry leaned over and rapped his arms around him, whispering something in his ear. A smile lit up Louis face. "I told you, Ni." Zayn said, a twinkle in his eye. "Yeah, um sorry about those things I said Zayn. I don't hate you." Liam said. "It's okay, I understand. And I'm very sorry for kicking you, Ni. I don't know why I did." He said with tears in his eyes. "It's alright, mate." I got up to hug him. He beckoned Liam over and we shared a three way hug. "I want some!" Louis shouted, jumping into the hug. Harry followed behind him and rapped his wide arms around as much of us as he could. It was one of the best memory's I had of us. All of us standing there sharing the most powerful bond anyone could. I loved these boys more than anything in the world. They were the only ones keeping me from sliding over the edge and I will never be able to thank them enough. It was getting late so we all kinda just crashed right there in the living room. Harry and Louis curled up together and Zayn curled in with me and Liam. "I love you guys." I whispered before I fell asleep. "We love you to, Nialler." Zayn whispered sleepily. "But no one more than me." Liam cuddled even closer to me. I smiled at him and fell asleep, the smile still on my face. 

 

              Louis  
I curled into Harrys side, enjoying his warmth. "You're warm." I mumbled to him. "You're soft." He shot back sleepily. "Mmm." I mumbled. "I love you, Lou." Harry whispered, sending chills down my back. "Mm." I mumbled already drifting off to sleep. He kissed my cheek and that's the last thing I remember before I fell asleep. I dreamt that Harry was sitting beside me on a hill and we were having a picnic. He leaned over into my ear and whispered sweet words of love. We talked and shared kisses for hours. "Lou, wake up, love." I opened my eyes as Harry shook me awake. "Hmm?" I opened my eyes sleepily. "Zayn's in the shower and Liam and Niall went out to get stuff for breakfast. Wake up." He begged. "Go away, Haz." I tried to push him away. "Lou." He looked at me, a pout on his face. I pulled him down onto the couch and cuddled into him. "Happy?" I said in between a yawn. "Definitely." He kissed my forehead. "I broke up with Eleanor." I said suddenly. "You what?" Harry said. "I broke up with Eleanor." I whispered. "Why?" He asked. "I just.. I just don't feel the sparks anymore." I said. "Are you gonna be okay?" He cupped my cheeks in his hands and looked into my eyes. "Maybe." Not if you won't ever love me. "That's not a good enough answer, Lou." Harry said rapping his arms around me and squeezing me tight. "I'm sorry." I buried my head in his chest. "It's alright, love." He kissed the top of my head. I don't know, maybe it was the realization that I'm single after a few years or the fact that Harry will never love me like I need him to, but I started crying, heavy, jerking sobs. "Shh Lou, it's alright." He tried to calm me down by kissing my forehead and holding me tighter, but honestly this just made it worse. Because it was reminding me of everything I'd never have. I love him more than anything in the entire world and I'm just like a brother to him. I couldn't do it anymore, I needed out. I jumped up and ran out of the room. "Louis! Come back." Harry ran after me "Harry, please, just don't." I looked him in the eye and gave a shake of my head before I took off towards my car. I needed to get my feelings sorted out because I couldn't keep being just friends with him. It hurt to much to sit around and pretend like I'm not completely head over heals for the boy. It hurt so much. But being away from him would hurt too, I just... I don't know what to do. I rested my head on the steering wheel and tried to calm the sobs echoing out of my mouth and through the car. "Lou, please open the door and tell me what's wrong! You just took off running, are you okay? Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry if I did. Lou, please talk to me!" Harry yelled through the window. I looked at him with tears in my eyes and backed out of the driveway. I know I probably should have stayed and just finally admitted to being in love with him. But I couldn't. I couldn't do that to our friendship. I would rather me be gone for awhile than Harry ignore me because I'm in love with him. That would hurt way to fucking much. I wiped tears away angrily and sped down the road to my condo. I just needed to grab a few things and I'd be on my way. I walked into my condo and grabbed a suitcase out of the closet. I shoved some clothes into it. I looked at my nightstand and saw a picture of me and Harry. More tears left my eyes as I remembered that day, it was the day that I had realized I was in love with him. I placed it carefully into the bag and continued putting clothes in. I zipped it up and dragged it to the car. I put it in the trunk and went back into the house to get my coat. I locked the doors and got back in the car. What now? I hadn't really thought about what I'd do after I left. What could I do? I could go home I suppose. Back to my mums house. I'd have to explain everything to her though.. I don't know. Maybe I should tell her everything, she deserves to know. I mean... She is my mom. 

 

            Liam  
"He did what? Hazza calm down." I said into the phone. "Lou h-he ran off. I don't know what I did. We were just laying together on the couch and he got up and ran out of the house and drove away and he wouldn't tell me what was wrong. What if he's quitting, Li?! I don't want him to leave." My mind was reeling. Louis left? Why the fuck..? "Harry calm down, I'll go and find him." I hung up the phone and told Niall what had happened. He started crying. "Baby, it's okay. We'll find him. Now I need you to go back to the apartment and sit with Harry while I get Lou." I hugged him and we got in the car. I dropped Niall off at the apartment and drove to Louis' house. When I got there he was sitting in his car. "Lou!" I screamed jumping out of my car. "What are you thinking?" I opened his door and helped him out. I rapped my arms around him and pulled him close. "He hates me. He hates me, Li." He sobbed out. "Lou, look at me. Nobody hates you." I looked him in the eye. "N-no, Harry does. Harry's going to hate me. He won't want me anymore. He'll hate me." He sobbed looking terrified. "Louis Tomlinson, what the fuck are you talking about Harry hating you? Harry is in love with you." I said. "N-no he's not. Harrys not gay. I am though. And I love him so fucking much. It hurts, Li. It hurts so much." He lost it and fell to the ground sobbing. "Louis, I'm not sure how you can't see that Harry is absolutely head over heals for you. He always has been. He loves you." I said picking him up and putting him into my car. "N-no, he doesn't love me. He loves Taylor fucking Swift." He said. "No he doesn't." I started the car and pulled out of the driveway. He pulled his knees up to his chest and sobbed into them. It was breaking my heart. I pulled up in front of Niall's place and we both climbed out. "Go talk to Harry. He's in quite a state right now." I suggested. He nodded and slowly made his way to the large apartment. I saw the door fling open and saw Harry pull Louis into the house in a hug. I smiled to myself. I hope they work everything out. I saw Niall make his way toward the car. He came and sat in the passenger seat. "They're doing well in there." I heard him say. I nodded my head. "That's good." I said. He smiled at me and leaned in for a kiss. We saw flashing lights and looked up to see two paparazzi's flashing the cameras off. "Fuck." I whispered as they ran off. "Liam.. What are we going to do?" Niall asked. "We have to go tell the others." I said, grabbing his hand and getting out of the car. We ran inside were Louis and Harry were talking. "You guys someone took a picture of Liam and I right as we kissed and now it's gonna be everywhere and what are we going to do? Modest is going to kill us! Not to mention Simon!" Niall yelled, tears rushing down his face. I rapped an arm around him and pulled him close. "What are we gonna do?" He sobbed. "Hey, Ni it's alright." Louis patted his back comfortingly. "N-no it's not." He mumbled. "He's right. It's not really alright. But it will be. We just have to work everything out with Modest." I gave him a weak smile. "O-okay." He smiled shakily. A plan was starting to work itself out in my mind, but it might tear us apart. It's risky, but believable. My phone rang from my pocket, I picked it up and it was Simon.   
"Hello."   
"Hi Liam. I think we need to talk."  
"Probably."  
"You're gay?"  
"Yes."  
"Okay, and Niall's gay as well?"   
"Yeah."  
"Okay, I love that you two finally figured out your feelings, I have a bet with Zayn even, but that's beside the point. Liam, I would love for you guys to get to be together, but it just can't work."   
"I know, we weren't planning on publicly coming out for a looong time."   
"I'm sorry, Liam."   
"I have a plan, Simon." I walked into Niall's bedroom with the phone and shut the door. I told him all of my plan and he agreed to it. 

 

             Niall  
Liam was on the phone with Simon for a long time. I have no idea what they're saying, obviously something about us. But I have no idea what. Louis and Harry had long since gone home. I saw the bedroom door open and he walked toward the door. "Hey Li! What did he say?!" I asked, running up to him. "Not much, I've got to do something real quick. I'll be back in a little while." He wouldn't even look me in the eye. "Liam what's going on?" I tugged on his shirt. "It's nothing important, baby." He kissed my forehead but still wouldn't look into my eyes. "I'll be back. Don't read any hate while I'm gone." He gave me a sad smile "I'll try." I whispered, my eyes sinking to look at my feet. He tipped my chin up and kissed the top of my head. "Niall, I love you so much, baby." He whispered. I went to say I love you too, but he had already left. I had a sinking feeling in my chest. Like this might be the last time time he says that to me. I shook it off and sat down on the couch. What could be going on in that mind of his? What were him and Simon planning? I pulled my knees up to my chest and sat my chin on top of them. Was he going to break up with me? Oh god, that's what he was doing. That's why he couldn't look me in the eye, he's going to break up with me. We've only been together a day, and he's going to break up with me. What if he doesn't love me? What if he never even did? What if this whole thing was staged so I would stop reading the hate? I punched the pillow next to me and tried to get my mind off of it. I turned the tv on and I saw Liam on it. I fumbled for the volume remote and turned it up. "..it wasn't his idea though. It was mine from the start." He was saying. What wasn't who's idea?! "And what did you think tricking everyone would do?" The interviewer asked him. My stomach twisted itself in knots when I realized what he was doing. "No, Li." I whispered putting my hand against the glass screen. "I dunno. Just a joke really. We didn't mean anything by it. Niall didn't even want to do it at first but I convinced him. I'm truly sorry for any trouble." He put his head down and I knew he was struggling not to cry. I wasn't doing so well keeping the tears in myself. I sank to the ground and pulled my knees up to my chest. I started breathing heavily and my vision started clouding. He didn't love me. He didn't love me. He didn't love me. He didn't love me. I kept chanting in my head until all I could see was black. 

 

I woke up in Louis' room. Louis? Why am I here? I looked around me and sure enough it was Louis' room. There was the picture of him and Harry that he kept on his bedside table. And there was his striped shirt laying in the corner. I got up slowly and walked toward the door. "Lou?" I called. "In the kitchen, Ni." He yelled. I walked into the kitchen and saw him cooking some pancakes. "How are you feeling? Can you remember anything?" He asked worriedly. "I'm feeling fine. And no, why am I at your house?" I asked, confused. "Well after seeing what Liam said I thought I'd go check on you. I found you out cold on the ground when I got to your place. Freaked the shit out of me. Harry said it was a panic attack and that we should just bring you home." He said. "Wait, what did Liam do? I don't remember?" I asked. "Oh shit." He mumbled under his breath. "Um, Haz." He called. Harry appeared in the doorway. "Yeah?" He asked.

 

            Louis  
"Um can you explain to him what exactly Li was doing." I pleaded. "Yeah.." He grabbed Niall's hand and led him out of the kitchen and into the living room. I went on cooking the pancakes as Haz explained everything to Niall. "No!" I heard him yell. I went into the living room and found Niall curled into a ball, Harrys arms around him. I know Harry was just comforting Ni, but it sent a pang of jealousy through me, and I realized just how much I love him. "Ni." I went and rapped my arms around him from the other side of his body. "It's going to be okay." I said. "How can it? Liam doesn't-doesn't love m-me, I'm not good enough. What did I do?" He started crying again. It sounded like the sobs would tear his body open and his misery would spill onto the floor. "Niall shh. It's okay." I pulled him onto my lap to rock him. Harry rapped his arms around Niall and I and held both of us. Why would Liam do this? I understand he was probably trying to protect Niall, but he's killing him is more like it. I heard my phone ringing and shifted Niall into Harry's arms so I could go answer it. I trotted into the kitchen, we're I had left my phone, and answered it. "Hello?"   
"Louis, Niall's not at his house and I can't find him anywhere." Liam yelled into the phone.  
Please tell me he did not just say that!   
"Liam just shut the fuck up. I'm not telling you were Niall is. You're killing him with this. He had a panic attack and Harry and I had to explain to him why. Do you know how hard it was to break one of my best friends?!" I screamed at him. "And you know what's worse? He thinks it's fucking his fault! He thinks he's not good enough for you. But you're not good enough for him. Instead of pulling through this with him, you chose the easy way out. But you know what? That broke him more than any hate ever could." I screamed. Before Liam could respond I hung up the phone. I was fuming. How could he hurt Niall like that?! "Lou?" I looked at the hand that was placed on my arm. It was Harry's. I'd know his hands anywhere. They were strong and sure, just like him. "Were's Niall?" I asked, ignoring the fact that his touch sent shivers through me. "He fell asleep from all the crying, he's laying on your bed." He said quietly. I nodded my head. How was this going to be okay? I closed my eyes as a tear slipped out. Niall was one of my best friends and he was hurting so fucking bad. Harry moved behind me and rapped his arms around me. "It'll be okay." He breathed against my neck. I shivered as his breath hit my bare skin. He was so amazing. I love him so much. More tears fell down my cheeks. But this time of a different pain. This time the pain was from my love for Harry. "It will, you'll see." He whispered. I almost believed him, almost. He buried his face into the crook of my neck and that's when I realized he was crying too. His tears slid down my neck and down the top of my shirt. "Haz." I whispered, turning around and rapping my arms around him. We stood there together, two hurting boys drawing strength from each others arms. "Lou, Zayn called earlier..." He pushed away a bit and looked at the ground, wiping his tears away. "Yeah?" I said a sinking feeling in my stomach. "He told me he liked me." Harry wouldn't look anywhere near my eyes. Oh god, he's Zayn's. They're dating. I thought he liked me, but he doesn't. He likes Zayn. "Oh." I started backing up toward the door. "I just.. I thought.." I stopped my sentence halfway through because of a stupid sob that pushed it's way into my mouth. "Never mind. It was a stupid thought." I turned around and ran. "Lou!" Harry screamed after me. "Lou, please, I couldn't break him any more. I had to say yes. Maybe none of you know, but Zayn was close to killing himself because he's so depressed." Harry said, catching my arm. I looked at him, my eyes spilling over with tears. "Please Harry, don't talk to me anymore. Don't text me. I-I don't want to see you again." I said ,then turned around and ran out the door. "Louis, please!" I heard him yell behind me. I didn't stop though. I got into my car and floored it out of the parking lot. 

 

            Harry   
I stared after him, my breath coming in short bursts. He was gone. I kicked the ground hard, stubbing my toe. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I reached down and grabbed it, pressing it to my ear.   
"Hello?"  
"Hi, Babe.."  
"What's up, Zaynie."   
"Oh god, Haz. Don't call me Zaynie."  
"Whatever you want, zaynay."   
"I hate you."   
"I'm sure you do."   
"Um Haz.. Have you told the boys yet?"   
"Well.." I filled him in on what's happened with Niall and Liam.   
"Well, what about Lou?"   
"Yeah, he knows."  
"Is he okay with us?"  
"Yeah, he was excited for us."   
"That's great! Hey, I've got to go. I'll talk to you later."  
"Ight bye."  
I hung up the phone and sighed. Acting like you're okay hurts. I slipped my phone back into my pocket. Where could he have gone? And why did I bring Zayn up? We had been in each others arms, our bodies fitting perfectly together. And I had ruined the moment. Now I doubt I'll ever have one like that with him again. I shot my hand across my face, wiping away the tears. Maybe he'll come back, I thought as I turned around and headed inside. I noticed Niall sitting at the kitchen table writing a note, a knife laying by his side. "Niall, what's gong on?" I asked, concerned. "Nothing, I'm fine. I just need to leave, please can you understand this? Liam's everything to me, and he threw me away like I was trash. I-I have to do this." He started sobbing. I ran over and dropped to my knees beside him. "Niall, killing yourself isn't the answer. I know how you feel right now, trust me. But no matter how much pain I want to inflict on myself it won't ever help."I pulled him into my arms as we both started sobbing. 

 

             Niall  
I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on them. I was sitting in front of the mirror about an hour after Harry decided to try and go find Lou, a notebook and pen by my side, trying to figure out everything that is wrong with me so I can fix it.   
#1. I'm fucking ugly.   
#2. I'm fucking fat.   
#3. I'm to fucking loud.   
#4. I have fucking ugly hair.   
#5. I'm fucking unlovable.  
#6. I'm fucking annoying.   
I put the pen down down, now to fix them. For #1 I'll just have to wait and see if I ever get attractive or not. For #2 I'll just stop eating. For #3 I'll just stop talking. For #4 I'll die it back to it's normal color, brown. For #5 I'll deal with it. For #6 Same as #3. I put the paper away, content for now. Maybe Liam would love me if I was skinny and quiet and pretty. Maybe. I sighed and walked to my bed. Maybe I should just stop all this pain now. It would be best for everyone. Tears where streaming down my face and I couldn't control the sobs. I heard my phone ring and answered it.   
"Hello?"   
"Niall?"   
"L-Liam?"  
"I'm so sorry, Ni."  
"I trusted you. I thought you loved me!"   
"Niall, I do love you!"  
"Then why did you say those things?! Why did you lie?!"   
"Because I was protecting you! I didn't want you to get the hate from coming out, so I did what I did. I'm sorry Ni-Ni. I'm so fucking sorry."   
"Liam... You could have at least talked to me. We could have figured something out."   
"I'm sorry."   
"Where are you?"   
"I'm at your house."  
"I'll be there in a minute."  
"Niall, I love you with everything inside of me."  
"Why?"  
I walked out the door and started walking towards my house.  
"Why not? You're amazing. You're gorgeous, your laugh is contagious, you sing like an angel, you have the most amazing personality, you're like a bright rainbow, Ni. Even when you're not happy you still can put on the cutest smile ever and walk around like everything is fine. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and words cannot express how much I love you."  
I saw Liam sitting outside my house and hung up the phone. I came up behind him and rapped my arms around him. "That was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever said to me. Thank you so much, Li-Li." I whispered. "I just call it how I see it." He turned around and kissed me on the lips. "I'm sorry, baby." He said. I kissed him back, wanting this moment to go on forever. "Liam, I think I could deal with the hate if I had you by my side." I whispered. "I'm sorry, Ni. I didn't know what would happen. I just had one thing on my mind, keeping you safe. I couldn't bare it if you got hurt by all this. I'd never forgive myself if you placed one more scar on that pale, delicate, beautiful skin of yours, because of me." He said. "Liam, all I wanted was for you to rap your arms around me and tell me you still needed me. I could've dealt with anything by having your arms surround me." I said, stroking his cheek. "Let's go inside, yeah?" He ,said grabbing my hand and leading me towards the door. We walked into the large apartment and shut the door behind us. "I love you." I whispered breathily onto his neck. I think he got the hint because he looked at me and asked if I wanted to go to the bedroom. I smiled shyly and nodded my head. "I want to love you all night." He whispered in my ear. I smiled at him. I wanted him to love me all night too. He laid me back in the bed and slowly took my clothes off. What followed that was something words would never even be able to describe.

            Zayn  
I think I'm going to break up with Harry. I know that he doesn't really love me, that he loves Louis. And that's okay. Because I think I have someone else. Her name is perrie. She's absolutely amazing. I blushed thinking about her and tugged on Harry's arm. "Haz, can we talk?" We were sitting in his flat. "Yeah." He smiled at me. "Okay, well, I think that- that we need to break up. I'm sorry. It's jut that I know you're in love with Louis. And I really like someone else. I just think it's best if we split up." I laid my hand on his arm. "Are you sure you want this, Zayn?" He looked at me steadily. "Yeah, I'm sure." I said. He nodded his head and hugged me. "Thank you." He whispered. I smiled at him as he left. I hope he gets his Louis. 

             Harry  
I walked toward my flat nervously. Would Louis even want me now? I know he had come back sometime last night because he had been in his room this morning, asleep. But I don't know if he would even talk to mr. Or even still be there. I opened the door quickly and stepped inside. Please be in here, Louis. I walked toward his door and knocked on it. "Lou?" I called through the door. No answer. I pushed the door open and entered his room. "Boo bear." I sighed. He was curled up in his bed bawling his eyes out. "Come 'ere." I sank onto his bed and pulled him into my arms. "Why don't you love me, Haz? I can be as good as Zayn, I can!" He said, sobbing harder. "Shh, I do love you boo bear. I love you so much. And you don't have to worry about Zayn anymore. He broke up with me. But it's okay because I didn't love him. Not in the way that I love you. And I do love you. I love your smile and your eyes. I love your hair and the way that you sing. I love everything about you." I whispered. "You do?" His eyes got huge. "You love me?" He pointed to himself. "Of course I do, silly." I bent down and blew a raspberry into his neck. He giggled giddily and kissed my cheek. "I love you too, Haz. I love you too." he smiled at me and giggled again, almost like a child. He was perfect. I knew that I wouldn't let him go again. 

             The End  
 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everyone liked it! I wrote this last year, so it's probably not thy great.


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